Turn-ons: varsity jackets, convertibles and the color pink! Turn-offs: bad hair days, broken nails and fatties.

PS: I'm totally not a balding dude in a basement who could use some exercise and sunshine.

If you're smart, you'll see the angle I'm taking here. If you think this is just some creep with a fixation for tacky dolls, you're thinking exactly what I want you to think.